Thinking Traps series
Thinking traps are patterns of thought we have that can increase our own anxiety, worry and fear. Some other names are: stinking thinking, illogical thoughts, cognitive distortions, etc. The importance of this is that it can negatively impact our decision-making quality. This series will break down each one on separate posts. You and your spouse/partner, relative, or trusted friend can help with these or even play a game on determining which of these each you exhibits.
But of course, we do not generally believe our thoughts are anything but right. If I feel/think it, then it must be so. However, our thoughts and consequently our beliefs, are what can impact our lived experiences – positively or negatively. Said another way by that noted philosopher Eddie Murphy, “you brought dat s**t on yo’selv”.
Simple solution – editing our thoughts – harder to do. But it can be done. But I can hear you now saying, “yeah Reg, but that is hard.” True it can be somewhat harder to do. But like anything else good or bad, especially for the good – it takes effort. Does good sex take effort – Yes! Does going to eat at your favorite restaurant or favorite dish that happens to be across town take effort – Yes! Does finding a job or even committing a crime take some form of effort – Yes! Anything we do that is either good for us or that we enjoy takes some effort. However, the payoff from the effort will be sweeter than the current state. How did you feel if you lost those 20lbs you wanted to lose? How about the feeling when you put forth extra effort to prepare for and get that job you really wanted? Or the effort you put forth to attract that person you wanted to get closer to? Or the pride felt after you rebuilt the engine on that ’68 Camaro? Effort (sustained) is the breakfast of champions of life!
Remember – our negative thoughts, stinking thinking, cognitive distortions can be addressed. If you are thinking that you have to change everything, well that likely isn’t so. This is more about editing than an overhaul in most cases. But the more we make those edits, the more our experience changes. Keep in mind, I am a traveler along the same road, just at a different mile marker. I am right there with you in terms of having my hurdles to cross so I can empathize on where you are.
Alright, chin up, eyes forward, mind open – let’s get it started!